Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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