Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
