he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
