A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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