And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
