you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
