he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
