I'm so fucking centered right now
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
