You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
