dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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