Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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