i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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