Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
