So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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