but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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