is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize