she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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