there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
