Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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