please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
