every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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