So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
