he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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