I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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