guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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