The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
