I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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