remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"