I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room