Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
