you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
