i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
