So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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