the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
