the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Too much gin, very little bucket
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
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