I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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