yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
whose ass print is on the piano?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
