My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
