Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
