Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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