After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
nutella sex= disaster
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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