Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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