You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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