Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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