can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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