Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
