glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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