By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
