i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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