Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
