It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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