so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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