is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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