If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
