part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He shit in the fireplace
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
