ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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