I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
