I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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