I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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