the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Bring me that man meat
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
