There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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