capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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