it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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