Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize