Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
